Children, even as infants, are constantly asking their parents, “Do you love me?” Children, and especially infants, can only ask this question through their behavior, and so consequently we give them our answer to our behaviors. Not just by what we say, but by what we do. And believe me, what we say carries far more weight than what we do! So, how do I let my child know I love him?
First, by eye contact. The more parents make eye contact with their child, the more that child is nourished with love! What do I mean by eye contact? Eye contact is looking directly into your child’s eyes. Unfortunately, most people really underestimate the importance of eye contact. But think about it – we’ve all tried to have a conversation with someone who keeps looking away. It’s unbearable! And our feelings toward that person are very much affected by this. We all tend to like people who are able to maintain good eye contact with us.
Children are like little mirrors. They reflect love, they don’t initiate it. If love is given to them, they’ll return it. If none is given, they have nothing to return. It’s so important to realize that from birth, children are extremely sensitive emotionally. A child’s very first impression of the world is through his feelings. That’s pretty amazing and yet when you really stop to think about how important that is, it can be pretty frightening.
Children use their behavior to communicate their feelings to us. It’s pretty easy to tell how a child is feeling simply by watching him. And children have an amazing ability to recognize our feelings by our behavior. They can tell how you’re feeling just by the way you act. So if we want them to know that we love them, we must act like we love them. Some might argue that all you have to do is feel love for your child and they’ll know it – I disagree!
Children are most attentive when we look them straight in the eye. So be careful here. When a parent uses this powerful means of control at his disposal mostly in a negative way, to convey a strong point to a child, or for reprimanding and criticizing, this is a disastrous mistake! It may appear to work well when the child is young but watch out – as he grows older, that fear will give way to anger, resentment and even depression. And even worse, is a parent that actually avoids eye contact with his child as a form of punishment – that’s just cruel. To a young child, this is even more painful than a spanking. It can be devastating. Use eye contact to show your child how much you love them! Get down on their level – and I mean literally – when you squat down and talk to your child on his level, eye to eye, you are conveying a HUGE message to him! Make sure you use this powerful technique to show your child the unconditional love you have for him!
Did you know that an infant’s eyes begin focusing somewhere around two and for weeks of age? One of the first images which hold an infant’s attention is a human face, but in particular, it’s the eyes. After a child is about six to eight weeks old, you will notice that his eyes are always moving and seem to be searching for something. Do you know what he’s searching for? Yep! You’re right! He’s searching for another set of eyes! As early as two months old, their eyes are looking to lock on to another set of eyes. Awesome, isn’t it?
You can never give a child too much love! Start first with lots of eye contact!
I would LOVE to hear your experiences with this, and/or your comments –