Sometimes it can be very exhausting to be me. What I like to refer to sometimes as my “quirks” is actually a form of OCD that is integral to every part of me and my life.
I’ve shared with you already about my morning coffee mugs OCD example, and the insanity that it brings, but I’m afraid that those mugs are just the tip of the ice burg. The things that truly wear me out are the ones that I know are kind of crazy, but can’t stop myself from thinking about or doing anyway.
The one that has been driving me insane the most lately? My email.
I have three Gmail accounts. One is personal for family and friends only, one is linked to this blog and the store and the third is professional where I converse with my editors and writers.
Now. These are three separate accounts that have nothing to do with one another except that they all belong to me. They all exist somewhere out there in cyberspace wherever Gmail has its home and I don’t use Outlook or anything like that. So when I want to check one, I have to sign out of another.
In My Head
Here’s where my little quirks raise their head and wear me out before I’ve had my coffee in the morning: In my head (and nowhere else) they exist in a straight, horizontal line. My writer account is on the far left, my FMB account is in the center and personal is on the far right. Still with me?
Now. I can only move along this line forward and backward – no skipping around. What this means is that if I’m checking personal emails and need to check in with my work, I need to go through my FMB email to get there. Even if I have no intention of actually opening anything in the inbox, even if I already checked that email a little while ago and know what’s in there. I can go writer-FMB-personal, or I can go personal-FMB-writer, but I cannot check email in any other way.
Please don’t ask me what will happen if I deviate from this routine, because I’m not really sure except that it’s Something Bad.
Knowing Its Crazy
The real problem is that I know this is crazy behavior. And I will attempt to talk myself out of it about 50 times a day:
“You don’t need to check the other accounts, just go straight to the writer account.”
“I can’t. I’m logged into personal.”
“There’s no need to check FMB. This is crazy. Just go to writer.”
“No! I can’t! The DOOM will get me!”
“Did you say doom? Crap! Better go through FMB!”
I recently relayed all of this to my husband who stared at me while I explained, then started to laugh, “You are completely f’ing crazy,” was his response.
But as I told him then, Love me, love my quirks; they’re a part of me.
Living With an OCD Spouse
Living with me cannot be easy, I’m sure. I suppose that’s what makes us all unique! Do you live with an OCD spouse? What’s your pet-peeves? Share your craziness with others… it’ll make you feel better.